There are a lot of things I didn’t anticipate when I got an ostomy. One of them was that getting the supplies required to maintain it would be such a hassle.
You’d think that after having a major organ removed, the least society could do is make it relatively easy to obtain the supplies required to function without shitting yourself.
Why Can’t I Just Buy Ostomy Supplies at Walmart?
If you have an ostomy, you know what I’m talking about. Apparently, you need to develop a working relationship with the medical supply industry. You need prescriptions. You have quantity limits. You have to use specialized medical suppliers. There are insurance hoops, paperwork, and phone calls that have to be kept up on in order to receive your supplies each month.
You can’t just casually swing by Walmart and grab a box of ostomy bags or other ostomy supplies while you’re picking up toilet paper and soap.
Instead, I get a monthly phone call from a woman I’ve never met, who works for a company I’ve somehow become completely dependent on, to discuss an order of supplies that I will literally cease to function without.
Let’s Talk About the Cost
And these products aren’t exactly cheap. Between the bags, wafers, rings, adhesive removers, barrier sprays, wipes, and all the other little things that go into keeping an ostomy functioning, the expenses add up FAST.
Yet somehow, these aren’t products you can easily shop around for like you’re comparing prices on laundry detergent.
Why is this stuff so difficult to access? Why are there so few places to buy it? Why are we dealing with prescriptions and quantity restrictions for products that aren’t optional?
I can buy 300 3D-printed dragons from my local farmers market for like twenty bucks right now, but why is it so hard to get a plastic bag to shit in?
I just voted yesterday. If there was a guy running on the Make Ostomy Supplies Easy to Obtain platform, I would have shaded that circle pretty damn quickly.
There Has to Be a Better Way
I understand that medical supplies involve regulations, insurance, and manufacturing standards. I’m not suggesting we should be buying mystery adhesive rings from a guy selling them out of the trunk of his car.
Although, at this point in my life, I’m seriously not above that type of stuff. I have all but given my last fuck.
As you may have read in my last public breakdown (if not, you can read Shooting the Shit #3 here) I’m getting a little tired of things being unnecessarily complicated.
Like, it’s just plastic. Why are we upcharging this stuff so much?
There has to be a better way. I have enough going on without a monthly administrative side quest just to make sure I can leave the house.
Can we please make ostomy supplies as easy to buy as literally everything else we need to survive?
Now I’m curious. Where do you get your supplies? Have you found a reasonably priced supplier, or are we all just collectively accepting this ridiculous arrangement and just barely getting by?
Share your recommendations, frustrations, or monthly supply procurement horror stories below.